Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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