Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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