What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
