so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
