wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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