The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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