He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
