Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
