Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
