She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
