i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
