i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
