Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
