I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
