We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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