He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
