you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Walk of Shame today included voting.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
