I got chris browned last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
