you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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