whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hippo gnu deer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
