Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
