Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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