Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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