Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am in a vortex of obligation.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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