and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
