WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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