Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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