I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
