Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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