So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
