look no pants
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
