I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
