i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
