Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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