It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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