I think im going to throw up on grandma
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it's great music for shaving your balls
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
