My vagina just recognized that song.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
