Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize