ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
