Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
