god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
