I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
