okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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