i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
