one two three fourrrrnication!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
