so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
