just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So many bounce houses so little time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
