My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
