i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
