Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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