If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
