bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
