Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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