We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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