we're blogging at a bar
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
