sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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