Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
