Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
