omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
