i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
