I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
