After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
